ah, the ugly side. as i so title it. the side of my heart i dont like, the portion i seek remedy for -- the lonely segment, the lost fragment, the flat tire -- whats up with that... it stirrs my emotions, acts and reacts too dramatically and too fast with no knowing of how to exist otherwise. i dont look for a pretty face, my heart searches for a like spirit. but then the problem comes that when i do find one, i don't know how to aproach her. or how to approach someone to find out if we have a like spirit. it's something i've studied greatly and practiced with a great degree of failure. my heart REFUSES to be tamed or told no, it's either all go or not at all. im so impatient :( i can wait in everything but this. i want to aproach her -- but i can't, not for another 2 weeks at least.
what do i do. how do i approach? logical progression is befriend, pursue, date, then happily ever after. practically, that's yielding a bucn hf pretty good friends. my heart's twisted up and confused and concerned.
my heart wants to tangibly love, why does Christ seem so intangible to me now? i need to go hug on Christ.