hmm...
note: there seems to be a systematic draining of my effort and energy from putting forth effort into going forward... work seems to be a regular growing leech of my effort and energy such that I can't seem to mount up effort to want to push forward... have i rallied my efforts too high previously and tripped and fallen too many times to want to try again? ...everything seems in place -- what am i waiting for? have i finally been subdued...??? ... ... ... no... never... EVER~!!! i'll be back in full... the time isn't quite now... for now i must continue on as is...