the events of the next several days may be intense and dramatic, or i may be perceiving them to be larger than they are -- but i doubt it... in either event, i will do my best to track them and document them here as they progress. the ball is rolling -- no stopping it now.. where it is going -- or where it will end, i do not know...

current status: fine/good
-I'm just beginning week 2 of getting up at 5am, reading the bible, running and having a big breakfast, and that's been terrific for me physically. I'm showing a lot of muscle mass, relative to my typically scrawny arms, from throwing around 50+lbs bags at work and such.
-I'm trekking through the bible in a 1-year plan. I'm praying a lot, seeking the Lord in everything all the time.
-I'm in position to move up into management at work. I'm about a month away from starting my own website development company.
-all around, I'm doing great. I've recognized that I've acquired ice mastery and am pursuing fire mastery. I've shed my silver feathers a couple months ago and have been growing in new gold feathers. My gold feathers are growing in nicely, and I'd have to say I'm nearing the end of level 1 fire mastery, almost ready to move up to level 2.

one thing festering or floating around through the back of my heart/mind is my 'dad.'
i've burnt a lot of brain cells over this, they have run through my heart like corrosive acid, and i've spilled a lot of ink on the subject. i haven't reached any conclusions, nor have i been able to figure out who to go to to ask about such a situation. my current decision is to confront him.
i do not know the questions i have for/about him, for i know the real answers behind the temporal ones.. "why were you never around, like ever?" "because God didn't allow him to be an influence on my life" there is too much left undefined about our relationship, and i want it defined. something about it, something about him(?) irks my existence... i called him a little while ago, and set a date to meet up with him for lunch on thursday afternoon. im moving forward -- i dont know where im going... i dont want to get lost. *places a mark on the path into the unknown*