i can't say anything to her. i have been silenced and i am paralyzed... what have we become? what were we before? what will we be? is this the Lord's will? are we walking in his way? surely not... is she loving me? am i loving her? are we both not loving eachother? or is there the slightest of possibilities that it is not possible for us to live at peace with one another...? have i failed you my friend...? have i broken every promise that i have ever made, denied every oath i have ever sworn? all i know is from my perspective... all i can express are my feelings... what is the other side of the story?
why are you so fragile? can i ever criticize you? if even just a little why do you lash back so harsh? i was not careless with my words nor with my expression -- was it too close to your heart? was it your source of joy, source of pride, your idol, your god? did i strike at something you hold too dear? why am i expressing all this in text to no one when you are available for me to talk to directly...? we have been under assult before...

-talked to and listened to her-

'Tell me...honestly...' -- 'You were supposed to say...' wow... that says it all i think... :-/