This is going to be more informative than anything. i was sooooo feeling out of the loop with what I was doing and what God wanted me to do, where he wanted me to be, and I was getting frantic and bogged down under the weight of trying to see where to go, what to do, how to do it, and my mind was just running a mile a minute. my mind is a wonderful tool but gets me into trouble often. when i stop thinking, and start doing, i find myself living out love.

Biblestudy tonight was awesome, just what i needed... we just spent the whole time in prayer. we just prayed for a fuller realization of God's soverign power, prayed to hear his voice clearer, prayed to be directed by him more directly, then we laid hands on and prayed for our group leaders' unborn child, then I shared my experience with the angel that protected me from the cold, then everyone laid hands on me and prayed -- wow... everything that i have doubted about myself, everything that i have been asking for, everything that i have thought i lacked, everyone thanked God for giving me those things and asked him to give me more. i feel that i lack courage, boldness and faith, but everyone around me sees those things in me -- wow... am I so blind that I cannot see myself? why do i doubt that God will give me all that I need in order to walk where he tells me to go? or doubt that he will answer my prayers?

i feel like peter when he steped out of the boat to walk on the water to Jesus. When he looked to the left and the right, he got frightened by the waves and began to sink. Then Jesus came to him, and lifted him back up.