"Where are you?"
...where am I? where am I? hmm.. in defining where i am, I think i will start by locating a point of reference and describing my location in reference to that because i don't know if i know where i am. i know that i am here, for i am always here, that is an independant reference point that travels with me wherever i go. but here is so relative to myself and myself alone as if I have some authority to base reality on my one point of refence. the only absolute in reality is God, the creator of reality as we know and don't know it. Reality as we know it consists of space, and time (for the sake of simplicity, i won't go into spacetime or deep into metaphysical stuff for now). I am currently located at my grandmom's house. That is where I am, in this house, in this neighborhood in south west philadelphia. I am here now. the 2nd month of the 2,006th year of our Lord (Anno Domini [A.D]). that i think summarizes my independant reference point. (i find myself unaware of where exactly i am headed with this, but a good travel may lead me to a location from which to progress from seeing as though i seem to find myself unaware of my current location.) I used to live in my grandmom's house. I used to live here a long time ago. it is really only long because so much has changed here, and so memories have come and gone from this place, traveling through me, and progressing a distance which makes it long. ...i am back at the physical location of the beginning of my journey... the beginning of my life as it is now. not my physical birth, for that was in another place at an earlier time, but i am right now looking at the spot where i was when Christ and I first met. i remember praying, asking Jesus to come into my heart. i remember the concept and realization of what it was i was asking of him. i clearly remember knowing that I was dedicating myself to follow him and him alone. similar to how i understood that I needed to do what my mom and grandmom told me to do, i knew i was committing to doing what Jesus told me to do. i remember the right feeling in my heart. i believe that is when the Lord sent his holy spirit to live within me. I remember how the feeling in my heart flowed through to my arms, my legs, and head, and just fueled and energized me. that was joy. that was, has been, is, and will be my strenght. that, was my start point. I am now back at that same spot, a long way away from it. it's been a fun travel back to this point :-D it has been a long travel to this point... 17 years... what have i learned in these past 17 years? not in collective summary, but in intimate detail. over six thousand days... i just recently wrote out a check for one thousand dollars, and it felt kinda weird cause I was like "Wow... what the crap, $1,000... that's a lot..." what lessons have i learned that i have overlooked and forgotten, re-written revised or erased? what needs to be re-learned, better explained, expressed or taught? how much of an arsenal of tools and weapons has the Lord built and stored within me that, at present, lies dormant... --> <-- this close to plunging deeper into the battle than i have ever plunged before... i have retreated from battles before, i have lost battles before, and i have been drawn back from battles before. I want to master the sword. I want to slay demons in the name of the king.