...what... is... holding... me... down...? something deep... something internal... miss-focused... systematically draining me continually... can't flap... can't fly... no wind... need to go... neede to fly...jkl;fdsajkl;jkl;fjkl;fdsajkl;fdsajkl;fdsajkl;fdsajkl;
can't stirr... sitting settled... saturday night is the farthest away from sunday-- need more fellowship throughout the week.. weak day... im sleepy but i'm not quite done yet... but i can't quite complete anything... :-\ ill focused... sad... sad... sad... me... pathetic pile of fur and feathers... all old lessons lost? nothing truely learned? failing cycle swinging around again...? NO! NEVER!!! I am done with that -- i am done with failing! admittantly my heart is weak... can't dig through to deeper resources of strength... clawing... digging... scratching... monkey wrench somewhere deep within trying to break me back into a level of normalcy -- mundane -- mediocrity... ::growls lowly and trudges forward::