i really dont feel like posting
i really dont feel like typing
theres much to say, hard to write it all down
some good
some bad
some i haven't sorted yet.
life's good, work's progressing well. everything on the surface is fine/great.
but it's what's in my heart that's the issue.
im out of sync --again-- which is making things awkward and a bit difficult. what i thought were some solid steps to stand on to climb and build more steps ontop of, are turning out to be a house of cards steadily folding floating and falling bit by bit. its little stuff, its big things, its not visible to the eye. financially i lost track again and currently find myself short again. and i messed up the click of a button and set myself back perhaps a half year or more.
aside from that, im learning volumes about myself, most of which is good and great -- im not learning that i am good nor am i great, but the things that i am learning are good and great for me to learn. im mostly reflective and responsive and customizable to whomever i interact with. this is not part of how God is using me to enter into people's lives and hearts and share love with them. it is -- what it is... which is what i am still learning... :-\
im slipping and falling with my plans and my structures for things. i'm learning aspects to conversation that i didnt realize before -- there seems to be a line in a conversation that i never really crossed or rarely find myself on the other side of or mysteriously pass where it goes from general fact and information sharing into personal existence sharing. >.< Dude I so had a good conversation going with a cute girl at a party and i let the conversation die and the opportunity to continue it at a later date. sostupid =P im gonna go visit her church sunday, maybe ill cross her path then.

more thoughts
scattered stuff
thx 4 reading ^_^ <3
i so need to take the time to read this myself...