have i been grounded? i feel kinda stuck? almost kinda lost? almost kinda not? nothings sparking my heart, nor is it cooperating enough to even follow where my mind or spirit leads. it feels cold, hard and heavy. dormant and mundane. i cant seem to fly or gather the effort to try.

i stabbed my own heart, with the sin i seek out... it gets harder every time to not fall for it, and walk strong again after stumbling and falling.

i've been through giving up before -- there's nothing there for me nor do i want to return to it. i will not. ever...